The Many Lives and Times of Sam Saturday: Neighborhood Watch

April 11, 2006

Sam Saturday is a live-at-home husband. The esteemed Mrs. Saturday is an up-and-coming executive in a fancy corporation. She brings home the bacon, as they say. Their house is hers, and their two cars, and their little dog, too.

Sammy boy, on the other hand, has always been something of a slacker. Dropped out of art school. Art school! Seriously. Lives at home, ‘works’ on his ‘novel’ – he’s up to paragraph number… 2. Oh yeah. Does the dishes, makes the meals, mows the lawn.

But Sammy came to realize he wouldn’t to do something more with his life. He wanted to find a way to give back to the community.

That’s why he joined the Neighborhood Watch. He was in good shape (took a jog every morning). He knew everyone in the neighborhood by name (had a habit of dropping by random houses for free lunches every now and again.) He even had a nice big car! (Well, his wife did, which was all the same to him.) It was perfect.

It doesn’t help that the neighborhood doesn’t actually have any trouble to worry about. They just like seeing Sammy riding around in his van after-hours, waving and giving a friendly honk at everyone he passes by.

Which is why, tonight, when he sees a pair of street thugs dashing through Ms. Horner’s lawn, he knows he can’t let it stand. He might have had the job in title alone before now, but here was his chance to prove his worth. He had a duty to the community.

That, your honor, is why Sammy had to beat those kids within an inch of their life. He had given his word.

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