Tales of True Story: The Cursed Name
March 16, 2006
I once was filing a directory of individuals in a certain department that shall go unspoken of.
Within that catalog of names was listed a boss and his assistant director.
The boss was named Jack Dragon. I was like – “Whoa! Dang, now thats one awesome name.”
I mean, you can’t have a name like Jack fucking Dragon without inherently having an aura of supreme coolness about you, right?
The assistant director, however… was named Oglethorp Pimblebottom.
I mean, damn. That sucks. That’s like, the worst name in the world, man. His parents must have hated him.
And to make matters worse, he has to work for Jack fucking Dragon all day long. That must totally bite, seriously.
Of course, it could be that the names are themselves the lie – Oglethorp could be a badass after years of persecution, and Jack fucking Dragon is just some dork in a tie.
Maybe one day I’ll find out… but till then, all I’ve got to go by are the names.
And Jack fucking Dragon beats out Oglethorp Pimblebottom any day of the week.