February 8, 2006

Everyone in town warned the stranger away from Old Man Henkle’s mansion, but he went there anyway.

“Oh, there’s treasure there,” they told him, “But it ain’t worth the risk, boy! That place is haunted, and ain’t been no one who went inside what came out again. Just turn around and drive on out of town!”

But the young man, dressed in casual jeans and a t-shirt and a nice-looking leather jacket, just shook his head. He needed the cash, and there was supposed to be a fortune in gems buried around the place. When you’re trying to escape the shadow of your old man, it didn’t help to have a fortune on your side to make a name for yourself. And the place was supposed to be haunted? Ha! He laughed dismissively when they warned him about the ghosts, and went towards the mansion anyway.

It was dark out when he got there, and there was no denying it was a spooky place – open, rusty gate a-creaking, broken shutters a-flapping in the wind, floor-boards a-groaning as he stepped inside.

He flipped a light switch, and to his surprise, the place lit up without protest. Inside the mansion… it was perfectly ordinary. Rooms with bland, peach-colored furniture, old wooden desks that had seen little use, garishly stylish paintings on the wall. He searched one room after another, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

No monsters… and no treasure.

The young man sighed, ready to give up and leave, when the lights cut out.

He was in the living room at the time, digging under a rather normal green plush sofa, but hadn’t found anything more than 73 cents in loose change.

As darkness swallowed the room, he stood up to note the silhouette of a figure standing in the doorway. Moonlight strayed in through the window, revealing withered bones and pale white flesh, and sharply shining fangs.

“They always think there is treasure, don’t they?” the figure cackled out loud. “Poor me, bound to my household, all my treasure lost years ago. But at least fresh meals keep wandering in, ready for the taking… Hahahahaha-“

The vampire’s cackle cut off as the young man reached out, inhumanly fast, and grabbed the monster by the neck.

“No treasure? Are you serious?” he asked, shaking his head in frustration.

“What? Argh!” The undead beast fought with all its might, with the strength of ten strong men, but couldn’t break his grasp. The young man sighed, and then his eyes suddenly sparked with fire, and the vampire crumbled into ashes.

“Man, this sucks. Stupid vampire. Why couldn’t you have some treasure in your mansion, huh? I spent a goddamn week to get here, and for nothing! And whats with this place? This is a freaking yuppy mansion! Aren’t vampires supposed to have something gothic? Jesus!”

The son of the devil tossed himself down on the cough, and spent a good five minutes sulking to himself before eventually getting up and heading out of town, never to be seen again.

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